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Living With Roommates: How to Protect Your Mental Wellness

Roommates drinking orange juice and chatting in kitchen

Living with roommates can take a toll on your wellness if you’re not prioritizing your mental health. And although sharing your home with others can come with a range of benefits, like lower rent costs, there can be some drawbacks too, such as little to no privacy.

This article will explore how you can protect your mental wellness when you live with roommates.

Finding the Right Roommates

Living with roommates you actually like can make a big difference to your mental wellness. If you don’t get on with the people you’re living with, setting schedules and creating rules may help, but it’ll be much harder to be happy.

Don’t use Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist to find roommates. Use roommate-finding platforms such as SpareRoom. These platforms are designed to match you with the right fit, and SpareRoom is no exception. With a moderation team that protects the platform’s users and easy posting, you’ll soon find your ideal match.

Whether you’re looking for room for rent in Los Angeles, New York, Boston, Austin, or anywhere else in the US, they’ve got you covered.

Protecting Your Mental Wellness When You Live With Roommates

Knowing How to Set Boundaries

It’s true that the foundation of any good relationship, from platonic to parental, is boundaries. This is even more true when you live with roommates. If you don’t have boundaries, you can easily start to feel overwhelmed or disrespected in your home – and that goes for your roommates, too.

We all talk about the importance of creating boundaries, but few of us actually know how to set them. We often think of boundaries as solid walls, but they’re so much more than a block designed to keep people out. In fact, the sole purpose of them is to let others in – just on your own terms. Boundaries are all about defining your own personal space and making sure you’re meeting your emotional needs.

Here are some tips that can help:

Start With Physical Space

Setting boundaries begins by having your own space where you can recharge and think. This might be your bedroom, the bottom of the garden, or even just a corner of your living room. You need a space where you don’t have to worry about people barging in and disrupting your alone time. Without this, living with roommates can start to feel suffocating.

Set Social Boundaries

It doesn’t matter whether you and your roommates are strangers sharing rent or the best of friends. You still need social boundaries – on both ends. Here are some questions that may need answering:

  • Is it okay to have friends stay over on weeknights?
  • Can guests sleep over, or do they need to leave after a specific time?
  • What counts as too much noise?

Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries are just as important as the other types, but are more overlooked. Some roommates may want and need heavy emotional support, whereas others may want to keep things casual. You need to know what your roommate is comfortable with. Do they want to talk about their problems, or do they just want someone to split rent with?

The Power of a Cleaning Routine

A cluttered and messy room can quickly take a toll on your mental wellness. Keeping things clean will lead to a clean mind and a better mood.

Design a Cleaning Schedule

Cleaning schedules don’t have to be complicated. They’re supposed to make life easier, not harder. You and your roommates could break down chores into daily, weekly, and monthly tasks.

There are many apps available that can help you all stick to a cleaning schedule.

Split Responsibilities

Leaving all the cleaning to one person can ruin your household dynamic. Tensions will soon build up when not everyone is pulling their weight. The only way to avoid this is by splitting responsibilities when it comes to shared areas, such as the kitchen, bathroom, and living room. Make sure one person isn’t stuck doing the dishes or taking out the trash all the time.

Make a Point of Communicating

Setting boundaries and schedules won’t help you maintain your wellness if you don’t actually talk about them with your roommates. It’s important to make a point of communicating with your roommates and make it known that you need them to do the same. Here’s how:

Check in With Your Roommates Regularly

Hold a house meeting. And we don’t mean a formal 10-minute business meeting. But making time to chat with your roommates once a week will help you communicate better as a household. You don’t just have to talk about problems (even though we do recommend mentioning what’s on your mind), but it can also just be a chance to take a breather and bond over life.

Don’t Leave Problems to Fester

We’re all guilty of ignoring small problems and hoping they go away, but the reality is that this can be terrible for communication and our mental wellness. If a problem comes up, even if it’s small, like leaving dishes in the sink, talk to your roommates about it. Clearing the air early on will help you keep your bonds intact.

Curating Your Own Environment

Contrary to some people’s beliefs, sharing with roommates doesn’t mean compromising your health and happiness. And just because you share your home with others, that doesn’t mean it can’t feel like yours.

Prioritize Calmness

Even small things can make big differences. Bring plants into your home and open the windows to let in the fresh air. Purchase string lights for your bedroom to create a truly calming space to relax.

Respect Each Other’s Routines

Everyone has different schedules and routines. If your roommate is working night shifts but you have a 9 – 5, go the extra mile to be considerate and keep the peace. This can be something as simple as keeping the noise down when they’re sleeping, and vice versa.

Make Room for Joy

Yes, rules can be helpful to set boundaries, but there’s more to life than that. To truly embrace mental wellness, make room for joy. Find interests that you and your roommates share. You might have a weekly movie night where you take turns choosing something to watch, or you might have breakfast together.

Living with people you enjoy living with can make a difference.

Final Thoughts

You shouldn’t compromise your mental wellness, and especially not for your roommates. However, setting boundaries and communicating properly can go a long way in creating a home that makes you happy, especially when sharing it with others.

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Karen LeBlanc

Karen LeBlanc is a travel host and writer with a popular travel show, The Design Tourist, and a companion lifestyle blog. As a widely published travel journalist and content creator, Karen is a member of the North American Travel Journalists Association. She also serves as the Design and Travel editor of the national lifestyle magazine, LaPalme. Karen believes that every destination has a story to tell through its local art, architecture, culture, and craft. This immersive creative exploration begins with authentic accommodations where the narrative of place unfolds through art, accessories, accouterments, furnishings, fixtures, and food. 

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